I recently got to experience one of those once-in-a-lifetime things – Rise Weekend in Minneapolis with Rachel Hollis. I’ve been a long time fan of Rachel Hollis; I follow her on Instagram, read her books*, listen to her podcast (x2- Rise Together!) and seen the Made for More Documentary (available on Amazon Prime) twice. And I’ll tell you what: It’s a pretty darn good representation of what Rise Weekend is all about! Motivation, inspiration, working through the hard stuff, holding space for others, and DANCING. We danced A LOT. It was awesome. Since I follow her pretty regularly (cough-all the time-cough) I had heard a lot of the messaging before, but it is worth repeating.
My Favorite Take-Aways
I could go on for AGES about each of these points but I wanted to share some of my biggest take-aways. Rachel speaks on these topics regularly so I really encourage you to check out her resources!!
The Comparison Game
Comparison is the thief of joy. We’ve heard this over and over but it is WORTH repeating. You are on your own journey – You can’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.
And in that vein – do a social media cleanse. If someone you are following on social media makes you feel bad about yourself, or less than in any way, unfollow them. It doesn’t matter if it’s your friend, or coworker, or cousin. Do what is best for you.
Cues, Triggers & Rewards
Create new cues for stress triggers. Cue > Action > Reward. Replace negative actions with positive ones. Ex. I’m stressed, I drink alcohol, I feel better (for now) TRY: I’m stressed, I go for a walk, meditate, do a breathing exercise, whatever it is, reward: I feel better. Practice doing these actions when you’re not stressed to remind your brain it’s time to relax when the time comes for needed relief.
Name your positive alter ego self & work towards that. Ex. Beyonce’s “Sasha Fierce”. Name your negative alter ego (your “inner critic”) and use your bad-ass Sasha Fierce self to crush it. Write a go-to statement to combat anxiety that is more powerful than your internal monologue. This statement speaks in opposition to your inner critic.
Move your body, change your mind. SO much of our mindset can be altered by changing your scenery. Get out for a walk. Move to a different area of the house to work. Try a different workout, recipe, or date night spot! See the change it creates in your head & your heart.
Create a Bad-Ass Playlist any play it only when you need it. You won’t want to listen to it – but you know these anthems will pick you up out of whatever funk you’re in. Songs on my playlist include: Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore, Woman by Kesha and Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi.
Other Goodness: Protect Your Calendar. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. Be wary of the “shoulds” i.e. “I should go to this party”
Jen Hatmaker‘s keynote was probably one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend. I’d never heard her speak, or read her books. Her energy was awesome on stage – hilarious, commanding yet friendly. She shared a story that was particularly moving to me…
When a mama elephant is giving birth, all of the other female elephants circle around, hip-to-hip, to protect her. They kick up dirt to ward off predators and stand as a force of mama solidarity. When the baby elephant is born, they trumpet. Loud, glorious, proclamation.
She also said, we all take turns being vulnerable in the middle, and being a protector on the outside.
This beautiful ritual is what I imagine for Om Mama. A circle of women, coming around a mama to support & celebrate her. Standing arm-in-arm to provide whatever she needs – whether that is a friend, a hot meal, a physical therapist or a mom’s night out. We all take turns giving and receiving.
Keeping It Real
I’m going to keep it real with you guys. A part of me felt a little – frustrated isn’t quite the right word. Maybe reserved? You see, I’ve been at this whole “entrepreneurship” thing my entire adult life. And while yes, I’ve definitely found my voice over the years and leaning into that helps A LOT, but it doesn’t get “easier”. (I know, no one said it would!) There is still uncertainty, stress & engrained anxiety. Of worrying over being “enough”. I have developed habits that help me overcome those feelings, but I know this is a process that may very well take my whole life. I fight the tension between “hustle” and “self-care” daily. I struggle to practice patience and stay positive.
My goal: Work smarter. Not harder.
Build from the ground up – When I ____ then, ____. When I get my workout in first thing in the morning, then I feel more energized to tackle my day. If I accomplish my “big three” tasks for the day, I feel more capable of accomplishing more of my to-do list. When I protect my calendar, I feel more able to be present & enjoy the moments – both work, and play.
I am a hard worker, a hustler, at heart. These core values aren’t going away. But by being aware of these mentalities & how they show up in my life I am better equipped to use them to my advantage, rather than to my detriment.
STOP the Glorification of BUSY
Even though this planner company is my FAVORITE (I look forward to getting my new ban.do planner every year!), “busy” is becoming a four-letter-word in my vocabulary. I never want my best friend, or my mom, or my client, to think I am “too busy” to show them that they care & that they matter. I never want to be so “busy” that I can’t show up for & take care of myself. “Busy” does not always mean good.
Instead of promoting the “hustle” and the “busy” – I’m swapping my mantras for:
Other Helpful Resources
Friends that are of similar mindset and gumption. Surrounding myself with people that lift you up, challenge you to be your best self, celebrate wins with you, and give you a shoulder to cry on when you’re down. Essentials of life.
Therapy. Over the years Kevin and I have gone to couples therapy & I am now going to personal therapy on my own. There is so much value in talking through emotions, patters and feelings with an impartial 3rd party. I cannot reccommend it enough.
Miracle Morning – This book changed. my. life. My morning routine now includes: Meditation, journaling, words of affirmation & visualization, reading and exercise.
5 to Thrive: 1. Get up 1 hour earlier than you normally would and spend that time on yourself (re: Miracle Morning), 2. Drink enough water, 2. Exercise for 30 minutes daily 3. Gratitude – I write down 5 things I’m grateful for every day before I go to sleep 4. Give up one category of food (or drink) that you know you shouldn’t have for 30 days & change the habit (I gave up red meat last year and now only eat it on special occasions)
Each day, or week, or month – whenever you can make it happen, write down 1 grow & 2 glows for that time period. It is just as important to celebrate your wins as it is to work on improvement. I’ll venture to say more important. This is something that is harder to say than do for me, but something I know can help my overall feelings of self worth.
I hope these tips & reflections ignite a little fire in your heart & encourage you to seek out more inspiration. These are the resources that have moved & motivated me, and I hope they can do the same for you! If you ever need someone to talk with about your goals, dreams and aspirations – call me your girl. I LOVE listening to what lights people up & supporting them in any way I can. You got this.
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